Category: Relationship

OK, so it’s not going well for whatever reason. Your boyfriend or partner just isn’t living up to your expectations, or doesn’t want to see you any more or you just know that it’s not working out. Be honest with yourself about why it’s not working and don’t hang on in there if he doesn’t want the same from a relationship as you.

Even though breaking up really can be “hard to do”, you can save yourself weeks, months or years of lost or wasted time by getting out early on if your intuition tells you it just isn’t working.

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If it’s you that wants the split

In this case be kind and gentle upon your ex-to-be. In other words, do as you would be done to. Tell him that you want to finish as kindly as you can. Believe me, you are doing him a favour by letting him go to move on to someone who can love him in the way that he deserves. Don’t promise to be friends, unless this is something that you can deliver on. Sometimes the kindest way is to get out of the way and allow your partner the space to get over you. If he tries to cling on to you, then you must gently but firmly stop all contact. Perhaps you might allow him an opportunity to discuss it but be honest about it being over and don’t relent out of guilt. Withdraw from the situation as soon as possible.

If it’s your other half that wants the split

As much as you desperately want to hang on in there, realise that it’s time to let go. Don’t grasp onto something that doesn’t want to be grasped on to. You will only chase it further away. Never cling or go where you are not wanted. Remember that self-respect, dignity and loving yourself are your top priority.

Yes, it’s going to hurt but isn’t a long slow painful falling apart going to hurt even more over the long term? If it’s over then allow yourself some space to grieve, feel those feelings, let them out. If it helps, write a letter to your ex but do not send it.

If you want him back in a relationship capacity then don’t keep in contact and don’t stay just friends. If you stay friends then you won’t give him the opportunity to miss you as you are still in his life in a lesser capacity. If you can cut ties with dignity and self respect, then there’s a chance at a later date that your ex may realise what a wonderfully balanced self-controlled person he is missing and return to you of his own free will. If you turn into a “bunny boiler” at this point then you’ve almost certainly blown it.

How to get over it

Allow yourself the time to grieve; you need to heal your wounds before you get out dating again. The amount of time that this may take will vary and can depend upon how long you were together and how attached you were to your relationship. Be strong; spend your time with the people who love you. When you are on your own you can cry, scream or beat up a pillow if it helps but remember that you existed without this person once before and you can do so again. Look after yourself; when you feel up to it try a new hobby or make some new friends. The sun will shine again and you will be OK, however bad you feel now; and one day you will look back and know that it was the right decision.

You are generally secure in your current relationship, especially since you and your partner have been together for awhile now. Your trust and love for each other has grown deep, and you practically know everything about each other.

You should not ignore the fact that getting your ex back into your life will allow you to have a romantic life. There is a need to get entire information about it to have the best partner in life. It will allow you to live a beautiful life without any problem. There is meeting of the needs and requirements.

But something’s not right. You’ve been feeling uneasy for days, especially when your partner is around. You can’t pinpoint it, but something has changed, and you don’t like it. You feel like your partner is cheating on you—but how can that be when you are devoted to each other? Can you be imagining things?

Your intuition might be telling you something. Cheating in a relationship isn’t always detectable, especially when done by a pro. But there are common, often subtle signs of cheating in a relationship. You might not be aware at first, but you will soon notice a pattern in a cheater’s actions and behaviour when he’s around you.

Here are some of the top signs of cheating in a relationship.

1. He spends more time in the office. You both have an 8 to 5 job, so you rarely see each other during the day, but night-time is meant to be your time with each other. But then you notice he begins to spend more time putting in extra hours at work, even after office hours. He goes home tired and grumpy, and you both don’t have the energy to do anything but sleep.
2. He spends more time with his friends. You’re both okay with the occasional night out with some of his closest peers, but he usually informs you first before he leaves. He also usually tells you his whereabouts. Suddenly, he leaves the house without telling you where he’s going, and he’ll tell you later that he’s been out with a couple of friends. This is one of the earliest tell tale signs of cheating in a relationship.
3. He begins to hide things from you. You used to tell each other everything. All the dirty secrets, thoughts and unsolicited opinions—you’re just that comfortable with each other. But lately it feels like he’s closing you out, almost like he doesn’t want you to mind his affairs.
4. He’s not sweet and attentive any more. You remember the early days of your relationship almost wistfully because that was the time he was more caring and sensitive to your needs. When was the last time he opened the door of the car for you? Nowadays he’s mostly grumpy and short with you, almost as if he could no longer stand being with you.
5. You think he’s getting bored. He doesn’t spend time with you or the kids anymore, and he’s often complaining about how tedious life can be. He’d rather stay out of the house on weekends than help around the house and play with the kids. Yes, he’s definitely showing signs of cheating in a relationship.
6. He used to avoid fights, but now he’s the one who’s starting them. You’re beginning to get scared of his wicked temper, and your fights are becoming more and more physically draining. Sometimes he even hurts you.
7. He’s accusing you of cheating. He’s trying to absolve himself for all the wrong things that happened to your relationship. He’s laying all the blame on your door, but you both know the truth.
8. You don’t spend too much time in the bedroom any more. You don’t talk, you rarely even have sex. It’s almost like you’re living with a complete stranger and you start to realize that you never really knew this person at all.
9. You feel it in your guts that something’s wrong.

If you’ve noticed some of these on your partner recently, you have reason to suspect the involvement of a third party.

Many people are aware that love out of marriage is definitely A reason why a relationship fails.

So WHY people still seek love out of marriage knowing extremely well that it will hurt their loved ones and also may put their loved ones’ reputation at stake?

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Well, the reason varies from person to person. There is no guidelines to define why a person seek love out of marriage.

Usually an extramarital affair is for fulfilling sexual desires or it may be an extremely intense emotional connection. Normally people would get involved in an extramarital affair when he/she has given up hope of obtaining something like sex, love, excitement, understanding, appreciation or respect in marriage.

Many men and women are looking for love and care in someone’s arms as they feel tired and frustrated of their marriages

There is no perfect marriage but extramarital affair seems perfect simply because they usually do not have the opportunity to spend so much time with each other. Moreover, they get to see only the very best of one another. Small fights between them are taken lightly and resolved amicably simply because they value the little time they have together.

Hence, extramarital affairs are like thrillers. It is thrilling and exciting to organize outings secretly, understanding and trusting each other to keep a shared secret, and longing for one another. Within the limited time that the two get with each other, they are prepared to do anything for one another. This “triller” is definitely appealing to any bored soul.

So is extramarital affair healthy for you? There is no right or wrong answer.

This affair usually does an excellent job of desire fulfillment. If you can handle it maturely, then it will only develop into an excellent friendship even though you lead a separate life. Sadly, not many people can handle extramarital affair in a mature manner.

Why A Relationship Fails –

3 Kinds Of Extramarital Affair

Basically, there are 3 kinds of extramarital affair and they are sexual, emotional, or a mixture of sexual and emotional.

An extramarital affair that is based on sex usually does not involve love and affection. It is actually based on lust. Love is developed naturally over a period of time by getting to know and understand that person. Lying and sneaking about to prevent detection is normally not good to a long-term affair.

Whereas in an emotional affair, friendship between two people are more likely to develop into a deeper bond and most likely lead to love than a sexual affair. When a man and woman begins to share dreams, hopes, anxieties, worries, joys and sorrows, they have somewhat developed a bond that a husband and wife supposed to have. This kind of bond between a man and woman has greater potential to develop love than a sexual affair.

The third kind of affair is the mixture of emotional affair and intimacy would possess the greatest possibility of developing into love out of marriage.

Why a relationship fails is when the emotional, intimate and spiritual bonds are not strong to keep a marriage together.

Once the emotional bond between a husband and a wife are weakened, it’s very difficult to rebuild this bond. It is easier for most women to forgive sexual affair than forgiving an affair where an emotional bond has been developed between her husband and another woman.

As for intimacy, keeping it thrilling and exciting is not an easy tasks. The best marriages are the ones people are willing to put in the effort and work to rekindle their love and bring the spark back into their marriages.

Whereas for spiritual bond may not necessarily be in the religious context, even though it surely can be. Spiritual bond is more so on the value that a couple places on the marriage vows. Are they willing and prepared to thrive and work their marriage to build a strong and happy one?

Love out of marriage is highly possible. How strong your marriage is will determine your course of actions but keep in mind love out of marriage is definitely A reason why a relationship fails and NOBODY gets to possess BOTH.